Family Tree

I can’t believe how excited I am right now. I woke up not even thinking about my birthday—I actually forgot about it for those first few groggy seconds after waking up. I went about my usual routine, and when I checked my email, I saw one from Geni wishing me a Happy Birthday. For some reason I decided to log into this old family tree website. Most of my family is signed up, and we’re all connected there. When it’s someone’s birthday, an email goes out to everyone, reminding them and even including the person’s age—that’s when I paused for a moment. While logged in, I noticed this old picture of me on a catamaran in Sandy Hook Bay from around 2010 or 2011. I immediately replaced it with a picture of eight-year-old me sitting by my favorite fountain in Matosinhos, Portugal. I still need to change that age visibility setting, but that’s not why the Universe nudged me into this Geni rabbit hole today. I noticed the tree said I had a half-sister, and when I clicked on the picture, it turned out to be me in 2009. I must’ve created another account at some point. Then I saw that “she”—the other me—had an entire family tree uploaded. I FOUND IT! I can’t believe I found it.

When my dad was diagnosed with melanoma and began Interferon chemo treatments at Saint Barnabas twice a week, I often went with him. One day, I decided to ask him questions. My dad had an incredible memory and told the most amazing stories. He was quiet, observant, and noticed everything. That year, we started building his family tree, beginning with his grandparents. It was such a fun afternoon because he remembered every detail, even middle names. I eventually abandoned the project after losing the list. Later, when I logged into Geni, I discovered the tree was gone—I was so upset. But what I found today feels like a birthday gift from my dad.

When I visited Portugal in 2022, I went to the cemetery and took pictures of all the grave sites because, in Europe, they all have photos. Now I can start adding those pictures to the family tree I'm building. Everyone should take an interest in their genealogy. To understand myself, I need to understand my mother, her mother, and her mother's mother. Our ancestors are part of our DNA—they are within us. I did a DNA kit with Ancestry, and unsurprisingly, I'm 98% from the region where my parents are from in Portugal. After hundreds of years of my ancestors being near the ocean, is it any wonder I felt like a fish the first time my dad introduced me to the waters of Sandy Hook Bay? The beach feels like home to me. That's why I used to love going to the music conference in Miami all those years ago. We didn’t even go to the sand; just being on that rooftop, looking at the ocean and smelling the air, was enough. I wish I were near the ocean now instead of staring out at the gloomy day here in Newark.

Every year, I say I’m going to Jamaica for my birthday. I’ll say it again... Maybe next year.

Now, off to take my birthday shower, where I use water to manifest my dreams for the year ahead.

Thanks for the gift, Dad.